Consumption

Why do we consume ?

Self preservation or the selfish gene makes us constantly consume. We are born to maximize pleasure and minimise pain. My pain is mine. Your pain is your’s. But pleasure is tricky. The more we have it the less we experience it.

We create false narrative to ourself to reduce the pain. But the first illusion is Ego itself. So it is capable of creating a narrative at any point or level of pain.

Some pain are basic or bodily. It cannot be reduced much by false narrative. But isn’t the narrative required is least false at such moments.

Pain of break up is more illusory than pain of physical injury. Former feels much more difficult because the whole body or Ego experiences it. The more the Ego the more you experience it. So we choose former to avoid latter.

Similarly a physical injury is more illusory than death. Yet we choose latter to avoid former. The death is just slowed down.

Living with someone you hate for biological reasons is painful. But it’s not physical death. It’s death for the Ego. I no longer think I live with my mother. I live with a dominant wife as a slave. She is kind but so were the worst slave owners. I no longer complain about that to her.

But remember the less I have a problem psychologically the more you are going to have physically. Your only weapons are pills. She will try everything to ease the physical pain that I am in to increase the Psychological pain. In other words to increase my dependence on pills. Forcing to Join job was one such way she tried.

Now at home she tries to make me dependent on antipsychotics again though I am perfectly fine without it. And I think way forward from here is reduce dependence on other pills as well because I am again at dead end.