Parkinson’s.
Dopamine or Serotonin problem.
Dopamine causes pleasure.
Serotonin causes satisfaction.Ie No more dopamine for now.
Serotonin is related to Rank.
It’s a number. Just a number.
But given to you by others. Very few ranks are legitimate. Most are Ranks of numbers in bank.
It is not visible. So external showoff becomes important.
Otherwise consumption has to be increased to feel satisfied.
Power
Humans are animals. They pursue pleasure and avoid pain. Someone good at controlling the dopamine will exercise soft power.
But will eventually turn to hard power after gaining authority.
So there are two things.
The power of Addiction– Drugs like Religion and opium of the masses.
The Addiction of Power– Sacrificing nature both inner and outer to gain soft and eventually hard or authoritative power.
Internal and External Rank
If you give away House Car Clothes etc you depend on internal Rank. It is something you know by repeated experiments.
Muscle movement and coordination requires dopamine. If Dopamine is not produced satisfactorily, Sufficient energy is not achieved to do the required work.
Internal Rank is a function of amount of courage you chose in life. Like competitive exams. No body can take that away.
External Rank is just numbers. So external Rank is unreliable or fickle at the very least. Like TO C TO D E F G….etc.
Spirituality means to gradually and deliberately be free from external Ranks. Or else you develop Parkinson’s.
A lot of external Rank pulling to make the produced Dopamine be sufficient.
So it is almost every time the wealthy who are more sick.
Good or bad – Subjectivity
External is place and surrounding dependent. If your colleague bought a car you have to buy it too wether you need or not to be in synergy with them. More if no internal Rank. But one thing that is exploited the most by capitalist is the show off done by body that is politics.
How ?
If your colleague does 5 hours of service work. You will not produce external Rank without doing the same amount of work. Face value work is chosen by most as it is considered or more accurately perceived equivalent to mining 16 Tonnes.
It is a subjectivity. It has no real existence. It means the more you understand it the less you have to do it to survive.
For example I sometimes walk from guest house to a Temple near by although I don’t require a Temple for that kind of external Rank. Any place even near dustbins can also be a Temple for me when immersed in work.
I realised this today that it is because of this capitalist exploit I have to do this extra work. All other extra consumption was visible. Only this the consumption of self is invisible to self. It feels like you are a master of your life when infact you are a pro “letarian”(Pun Intended) slave. I just wanted to know the reason. That’s why I came here in TN. Without even inside the Plant I use to get sudden urge to walk. At home as well.
So you see if you don’t buy car or house or other stuff you still cannot be better psychologically than the others. In fact worse than them.
You will have to make others also understand what you understand.
It’s a rather cruel coincidence the Road side board here says AramPakkam and K Amaipakkam.
You see this is why every body trembles when listening to a employee leaving the company. Internal Rank is missing and so suddenly the previously sufficient dopamine becomes insufficient. So either no one chooses to have or gain that internal Rank at least not more than the Requirement of the Job directly with the Technical knowledge or indirectly with some other knowledge like Share Market or SEO or if the one who manages somehow to acquire it had to be extraordinarily non affective.
Fool
If life has no purpose then what’s the best choice possible.
Choicelessness Isn’t it !!
So who is the real fool ?
Let’s say me. Then tell me. Ain’t someone else choicelessness your choicelessness as well in some way. Rather Completely I would say.
External Rank is necessary to do work I am assigned. But it should not be internalised. Otherwise it keep getting more and more Resource intensive.
Internal Rank is necessary to do work of human or individual nature.
Modi may be do not consumes a lot(Relatively). So nice prime minister. But depend so much on external numbers. I would prefer numbers only if something important has to be said. Not just blah blah not even thought by me.
If Modi were literate he would have been much more comfortable with much less external Rank.
Competitive Exams
Another thing that is ignored is students fighting for the competitive exams or any exam depend on the their rank. They don’t usually have any external Ranks. That’s why they Run for Jobs. But more importantly is conditioned to acquire it without giving much thought to the Job. As if that external Rank is complementary gift by Employer.
If the level of consciousness due to political condition falls very low the deserving will be looted of their necessary serotonin from External Rank. Hence suicide and other incidences more frequently in Colleges where the politics is the same but the mere academic knowledge do not give sufficient internal Rank and external is scarce.
NTA formed in 2017 is best example. Just see the repeated NEET paper leak fiasco in 2024 and now again in 2026. NTA is repeated offender in this regard and many Exams have been spoiled by them with many court cases also remaining pending including the Patent Exam of 2023 which I also gave. I cleared it but saw the have nots raising question almost being hammered down by haves.
What does it mean specifically for current situation ?
Even though you eat two chapatis. No liquor and what not. You are still consuming indirectly through Pets, Rallies, Travel etc.
If pets are more learned than you (Relatively), they would require a lot of numbers in bank or Roads or a lot of consumption like pigs to synergise with you. Much more as they are not spiritual. Just learned. Otherwise they will be dissatisfied.
If they are less learned that’s actually leadership.
Spiritual person can say what they should say even to a class of one student. Others cannot.
Why ?
You need numbers.
Therefore Rallies. Expensive suits. Foreign Travel for no reason etc.
Maybe numbers in bank is not important. But numbers in front is important for you. They are poor. They neither have serotonin nor Dopamine. So they gather together which raises their serotonin and your’s as well. In return you give them Dopamine. But you give them only illusionary Dopamine as you yourself don’t have real one as you yourself don’t consume. I mean the organic one not the Egotistic one like Facial, Priesthood, Share Market, or Epstein.
That is done by your Pets. I prefer animals and children as Pets as others I don’t find worthy. Once Addicts also involuntarily in Rehab. I use to eat Last although it was for survival as no other was capable. There the Pets and the numbers were the same.
Illusionary Dopamine is one produced by Denial or Brain wash.
Antipsychotics
It is like first giving antipsychotics then Psychotics in return for Antidepressants. In Rehab I literally took Antipsychotics. And the food was the Psychotics. Internal strength was anti depressants.
Why people are ok with it ?
Most people are sex less ie, Food is not their primary need. They find some comfort and shelter in Religion or some other groups. More if in numbers.
What is the Antipsychotic given ?
Unnecessary labour. Job cuts. Unemployment. Communal tension etc.
Point is Serotonin is the leadership chemical. The more you have it the more you could lead with lesser dopamine.
AP also does the same. But it is better. First destroy illusions. Then Ego boost for choosing courageous path. His subjects are learned. They have better internal Ranks.
Giving Antipsychotics depresses the giver. Why ? Energy as we know cannot be created or destroyed. So one man’s spending is another man’s income. More than necessary dopamine is useless as it cause equal depression later or immediate if wise.
So you see consumption is not the problem. Being worthy of it is the problem. Free dopamine cannot be given back even if you are not worthy. Because it’s physics not morals.
Maine Gareebi ko Jiya hai. So now you be poor so I may feel Rich. It’s not Tough love because it’s not active but reactive.
Similarly AP does. I have live through the Upnishads So now you be unhappy so I can feel happy. It’s a necessary evil. Tough love because it’s active.
But I will Equalize by returning it to you in some other formalities increasing mine and your Internal Rank as well along with Dopamine. That’s why It’s not addictive. Only an insecure Teacher will chain or drug the disciples.
Good vs Bad Serotonin.
In such settings good Serotonin is actually produced and for every body.
But YouTube channels run on subscribers. It’s the external Rank required in that ecosystem to do intended work efficiently. I have great respect for him and some for few others as well, me for example in this regard because unlike entropy which increases on its own they really sweated for it.
Dopamine wars are not wars. Even animals do that. Real wars are for good Serotonin.
Unfortunately bad serotonin suck most of the dopamine from the good side. So much that the good side can’t even stand properly. And the good side acting in return may appear evil to a bystander.
Why would I hurt my own. Right !!
Yes but better I hurt emotionally instead so they do not cross point of no return. Mahabharat was a disaster. Why ? Because first draft is what. Shit !! Correct me if I am not Right !!
So I would say Parkinson’s is a Decease to embrace not Run away from.
The more you Run away the more sick you become.
Let’s Elaborate !!
If body doesn’t produce enough Dopamine running away by getting busy increasing external Rank will increase consumption as well directly or indirectly. So after some time one will be in same situation like one was before promotions.
Instead embracing will do opposite. If body is not producing enough Dopamine embracing it will force to increase consumption that will help increase inner Rank.
But there is a catch. It is that all drugs are bad….Either to you health wise or society’s Law and order or to environment. Rape for example. It makes you a Pig. That’s why I didn’t liked Non Veg in IIT.
So don’t just go to any illiterate Doctor for Antipsychotics to reduce ill effects of consumption. You will be doing harm to you and Doctor as well.
Instead don’t wait for Parkinson’s attack. Reduce consumption yourself till you create real demand.
How to Reduce?
Force yourself to do what you always liked.
It will prevent becoming a Pig. It will still be embracing but with control. It will juice up the drug so it becomes more potent.
In IIT I use to do coding and Digital simulation till I really couldn’t without eating which I don’t necessarily depended on mess as there were many canteens and wending machines open almost all hours.
To give recent example……..Consider this post. I delayed it. It is a drug for you and me both. Curiosity is healthiest source of Dopamine.
Infact it’s my only potent drug. I forced to not write it reducing my and yours unnecessary consumption till Parkinson’s hit.
I don’t know but it reads pretty cool to me. Now I will focus on the next challange. I was focused only on food till now. It is not as simple as cutting from two litre oil to one litre. Low consumption doesn’t mean same lower level of consumption. It means low relatively to time place and situation.
Just like Modi but better.
In my situation I have reduced it to minimum possible. The most difficult was money. Now I don’t need most of the stuff for external Rank. A small Temple is more than enough.
I am demanding salary/compensation for your good only. You need to pay me so my external Rank synergise with yours since yours internal will take time to synergise with mine.
You are not ADSN. I am. If not paid I will be free.
You need so much bad serotonin(Relatively) to produce so little Dopamine by consumption. Money is Serotonin only to a very small extent.
How small ?
It is small to same proportion the income inequality is unwantedly large in this world.
But it is a good pool of Dopamine to be used when required by consumption of some article or thing. It’s use as Power is fine but very bad as a Status symbol. As the saying Money is a terrible Master but an Excellent servant.
Why don’t you improve the drug but reduce consumption. No I am not saying any change in Mess Menu.
Already the level has fallen from LPG to Chulha.
Why don’t you pay the Manager well.
I am the drug. The only way left for me to improve from this point without salary is quit and go to the Jungle which I do very often. IIT G for example.
Another option is Bengal. It is kind of a Jungle and I have friends there to survive at the least.
Endorphins
In the Ted Talk video embedded Dr Gabor Mate says formation of endorphins circuit in brain is mostly job of Mother. Endorphins eases pain. In childhood due to trauma or abuse they do not form these circuits. NEET re exam is sort of like that.
Endorphins is a pain killer. Another indirect function is it makes you receptive to Love or oxytocin.
Endorphins also called Runners High is the reason we like to exercise like when we get free salary like in our training time, to be receptive and calm and foster love for the company like for a mother we use to exercise hard in gym to maintain required levels of Endorphins. Same thing happens in Service Jobs.
Weed has CBD an endocannabinoid that is like endorphins. It makes me receptive to Love but more importantly give because that’s my temperament.
The only way to Naturally produce them otherwise will be real connection where I don’t have to be pretentious. That is not possible till you fully understand me and it also depends on who is understanding ie it is subjective. So let me finish up with the objective part first.
NTPC
What happened in NTPC after training was I was doing so much mental labour like
Stress Management.
Cognitive Achievement.
Focused mental tasks like meditation.
Laughter- Sit Coms mostly.
I was producing enough Endorphins without much physical exercise but getting depleted of oxytocin. I was not lacking serotonin or Dopamine for professional working because I didn’t depended much on external Rank. Only necessary to do the required work efficiently. And I am very Good at watching my Dopamine levels do not shoot more than the level I loose my character because I know the happy sad cycle. Even with Alcohol which shutts the character part of brain. Ie The prefrontal Cortex.
What I wanted from company was oxytocin to curb the obsession developing due to sexual needs of body developed from parasitic past.
I didn’t had addiction problem either. Whatever extra dopamine I get I share with others. That’s why Masturbation felt like crime because it’s done alone. Remember Drugs are not addictive. Most people take most of the drugs and are never addicted to them.
Everyone said get married. But I was already married to two parasitic women since childhood. Four infact. What type of wife would they have choosen for me. Hence the obsession.
When I left the company I had three major Setbacks.
1.) I would not say Dopamine loss but insufficient dopamine due to serotonin loss from external Rank.
2.) Insufficient Internal Rank due to same above reason.
3.) Total loss of Endorphins production even if I exercised heavily for total lack of oxytocin. Nobody loves a non earning member of family or colony.
So Robotically I became a magnet to a sword to cut my left hand. It is easy to get sympathy for suffering than thought. That gave me some endorphins to make some Pets for oxytocin.
Post COVID there wasn’t any reason to sit inside home but oxytocin was not enough to work in Job or something other than the website work I started in COVID period. Without surety of that I would have developed same obsession.
My family sent me to torture house because I wasn’t sharing dopamine exclusively with them. I had public and my animal Pets in addition to them for first time in their experience.
Torture house did two things.
1.) Took away all remaining external Rank.
2.) Minimum Endorphins for minimum sympathy from family and others.
I still had some Serotonin from internal Rank and Dopamine from daily feed. I decided to give GATE and other Exams although I didn’t had this concept of Internal and External Rank. I also gradually adapted to the much needed Spiritual knowledge from AP for the most solid internal Rank.
Today I have GFs but as I said I don’t use people. I can but Trust is a feeling not a contract. When I say GFs I include all Sex ie a Universal Set.
DD thinks it’s love when it reality it’s puppet play at the hands of masters. Money feels like nurturing specially when free but it’s smothering for Reasons discussed above. Money should never be substitute for void in nurturing part in us. People should be. And if you love people you would never use them. You would use things.
Over to you Left Hemisphere !!
Bas khane ko dete rehna Modi ji. Baki kuch ni chahiye.
